the state of my life

Lots of thoughts going through my head at the moment, hopefully this won’t be to difficult to read.
The image above is my room, as it is right now, as you can see the entire surface of my desk is covered with things. I have allot of things. A list that would take a long long time to write out. So why is it that it’s so easy to focus to much on the things I don’t have, the next item on my “to get” list. The list does have a end, but I get the feeling that the closer you get to the end of the current list, the more the list grows beneath that. I’ve discovered I’m amazingly good at spending, basically everything I make. Every expenditure of course has a good reason behind it.
You see, I have allot of interests, just look at my website, and I’ve managed to turn most of them into businesses, which of course all require certain things(equipment) to do well. In essence, I work to buy things to enable me to work more. I do enjoy what I do, so I look forward to all this.
This brings me to something I’ve been thinking allot about for awhile. God has given me allot of talents, probably more than I know of.
So I’ve been thinking allot about why, why has he given me all this, and how should I be using them. And you know what I’ve come up with….i still don’t know. But here’s what I do know, my purpose in life, I never thought I knew this before, I always thought it would be something along the lines of a job description, like “my purpose in life is to paint beautiful images that capture the attention of the viewer and awaken their imaginations.” While that does sound pretty nice, I’m learning that is not my purpose, that may be part of what I’m supposed to do, I don’t know, but it’s not the underlying purpose.
It’s so easy to get caught up worrying about specifics, check out matthew 6:25-34 that whole thing is good, here’s the part that’s really hitting home with me right now:

“What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”

So what’s my purpose? My purpose is not about me, I have to quit living a life for me, focused on me. My purpose is not inward focused, it’s outwards focused, to love my God with everything that’s in me, to love others with the same kind of love God has for me.
If I simply do this, and follow His direction through this life of love, I will fulfill my purpose, and use all of my talents as He intended for them to be used.